Bridging Two unique Worlds

 

‘Life is a humbling journey’ that creates the right landscape for the person we wish to become. One future day most of us arrive at a place that seems prepared by our parents and peers, schooling, and experiences, an un-built box that provides a sense of safety and belonging to stand on and live in. As we go about our lives filling the box with treasures and personal touches, we begin to compare our boxes with others, changing the details as we learn about and adjust to the world in order to justify and validate, to fit in. And in a fashion, that is where the story ends for many.

We expect that everyone has an un-built box of parents, peers, and experiences. We recognize that not everyone begins with the same conditions we have . . . yet we compare ourselves with them regardless.

In my experience, there are some who enter life missing one or more box components or builders. We call them (respectfully)‘fringe-dwellers’, a term meaning . . . not in the city of the mass population. Some stand out as different, some withdraw, and some forge ahead trying to understand and accept what they are and why they are not like others. Think of ‘fringe-dweller’ as a descriptive term since there currently are no acceptable labels.   

In some respects, fringe dwellers all share a quality – an imagination that defies the box they are born into! The missing piece of their box seems to provide a window into realities beyond what most can comprehend. They can also see, remember, and tell you everything in minute detail. When they see a flower, they see the whole garden, how it is a part of the flower, and how without it, the flower cannot be.There is no explanation, in any box of any nature, that can sufficiently explain what or why these individuals are. The word genius comes to mind, or savant, but these words still fail to adequately describe the millions of extreme fringe-dwellers who can touch the unknown and furnish their partial boxes with details that are enviable to those who cannot.

Thousands have come through our doors looking for answers to questions they cannot form. They find answers, nonetheless, because most people ask the wrong questions. They ask questions according to their box; they have not been taught to ask what truly matters deep in the subconscious and unconscious realms. Yes, each box is unique, to the extent that a box can be, but essentially each is just a different configuration of the same elements. It does not matter if there are millions of decorative options. The end result is still an eclectic choice, a personalized distillation of the same elements that we call ‘unique’.

But that is not what unique truly is. Unique embodies the idea of self, qualities that extend far beyond the boundaries of the personal box. Unique is what it implies – being unlike anything else. I challenge my students with this task at the onset of their journey with me; I ask them to list up to 50 things that make them unique. When they have done this, they are asked to estimate how many people they think might share these same qualities, items, talents, gifts, or abilities within their own social, family and friendship circles. If this is too difficult, I suggest they do some research to ascertain a number.  

Every time a group of students does this exercise, they realize one thing. What they consider unique (within their own box) is not unique at all. In fact, it is shared by millions of others, albeit experienced or arranged differently. Which begs the question . . . what is uniqueness and how can I find it?

It took me a long time to understand the nature of reality. Through my own personal experiences and studies, and through the countless students that have crossed my path, I came to the understanding that it was my own viewing point or perception that mattered most. I learnt that if I viewed life, the world, and others through my personal box – they would be nothing more than reflections of items in my life, even of things I had not gained or aquired. This would always leave me feeling either better than or less than others.

It was not the way to learn how to embrace the uniqueness that was inherent within me . . . inherent within anyone willing to look outside the box. By applying intent, students learn that imagination is like a bridge to unknown worlds and knowledge; they can align with it and bring it into their lives to make significant changes. Knowledge is power indeed, but the knowledge of where to find it, and what to do with it, is quite something else.”

- Jaylee Balch -