Day 96 - My Name is Anxiety

 

I am from the backblocks of your subconscious and I live in your former lives. 

I am the shadow that was formed in your childhood when you did not meet the expectations of others.

 I am your hurt and pain . . . stuffed under the rug that is waiting to be pulled out from under you. 

I am the deepest and darkest hours of a short circuit caused by abuse and torment.

I am your shame . . .

I am the reason you want to jump into bliss but cannot, because that would require freedom. That kind of freedom comes when there are no more shadows waiting to pull you off the edge. 

I am trying to get your attention . . . trying to tell you something about yourself . . . that you and I can go our separate ways.

I am the dread from your puberty years when body change was necessary but not really enjoyed, and you have not escaped me . . . yet.

I am your adulthood with all of its repsonsibilities, and I even project into your future . . . if you will let me?

I am your feelings - the heavy kind - that you ignore because your smiley face is more important, but I won't go away because I like to surprise you from time to time, to let you know that I am here. 

I usually come at a bad time because you trigger me and I cannot help it. 

It doesnt have to be this way . . . you and I . . . we can part ways and you can dance all the way to the stars. 

I am not a thing, I am a sign . . . that is all.  I dont disappear because you want me gone, controlled or handled, I disappear when I am no longer required. 

 Why am I required?

Because I am the shadow that you left behind and I cannot disappear myself. 

I am only a sign. 

[Photo by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash]